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When I was in the Philippines, I got this sensation that my youth is running out. I understood that I am still able to get 18-20 year old girls there, but I felt self conscious about my age, like I had to act quickly, or I would become too old looking and stop being attractive to young women.
In America, I don't feel self conscious about my age at all. I feel young, and it feels like I will stay young forever.
I think in the Philippines I am put face to face with my options, so dating becomes something concrete and I am forced to think about myself realistically. In America, it all feels so distant and abstract, so I don't have to think realistically, and can live in a dream land. You can dream for years and years here, and then one day you wake up and you are an old man.
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