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I was thinking: Why is it so painful to be rejected by women? I mean, yes there are some legitimate reasons, such as if you approach a woman too overtly and too often, you could gain notoriety as being a "creep". But more subtle forms of rejection that do not have as many real consequences. For example, to make small talk with a woman and she sends signals (e.g. tone of voice, facial expressions) that she is not interested in talking to you. There are no consequences for this, and yet the idea of this happening gives me extreme anxiety, to the point that in general I do not make small talk with women.
I think I have an irrational fear of offending women. What I described might sound peculiar to me, and maybe other incels, but there are forms of this same irrational fear of offending that are manifest in all people. For example, why do people leave a tip at a restaurant? Unless you are a regular, it is extremely rare that you will get the same server twice, so really it is not in your interests to leave a tip. People just leave a tip because they do not want to offend the waiter. They don't want the waiter to think of them as being a bad guy, even though the waiter will likely never see them again.
So perhaps to mitigate this fear of rejection, one could start by going to restaurants, and not leaving a tip, and this will train them to care less about what people think of them.
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